Deep Breathing

I have been experiencing left-sided chest pain for over 24 hours. It really started to bother me yesterday - each time I tried to take a deep breath, I had sharp knife-like pains in my left upper chest, just under the clavicle (collar bone). By this morning, the pain had gotten worse and I was becoming very concerned. I asked Marlin to take me to the emergency department at the local hospital. I was sure it wasn't heart pain (I'm a nurse, remember, I know these things), but of course, all the cardiac tests had to be done to make sure it wasn't my heart. I had a chest x-ray, too. All my blood tests were "normal" and the ECG (heart tracing) was better than the last time I had one! The chest x-ray didn't show pneumonia or a collapsed lung (good thing), so by the process of elimination - and by my symptoms, it was decided I had pleurisy. Pleurisy is an inflammation of the lining of the lung, and each time you try to take a deep breath, the lining stretches and causes pain. So I must take pain pills and anti-inflammatory drugs (ibuprophen) for about 5 days, until symptoms abate.
I am home - resting - and reading the pile of cards I got in today's mail.
Thank you all!
Then the Lord God took dust from the ground and formed a man from it. He breathed the breath of life into the man's nose and the man became a living person. Genesis 2:7

Love to you -
Ellen

God is in Control

Dear friends have reminded me - God is in control. The last couple of days provided several affirmations of that fact. Because another patient became ill and couldn't have surgery, I was able to have surgery 10 days earlier than expected.
I had a modified radical mastectomy with lymph node dissection on the right. I was at Barnes-Jewish West County Hospital, which is a smaller hospital - primarily a surgery center, probably about 50 beds. I had a private room and very excellent nursing care. My nurses were Mary and Elaine (in pre-op), Jeff (CRNA), Linda, Vickey and Andrea (post-op). One of the nursing assistants was applying to nursing school - Nancy, was from Kenya. She was a sweetheart! My procedure was to be at 12:15 on Wednesday, but the case before me was delayed, so I didn't go in until about 2 pm. I was back in my room by 5 pm. I was able to eat supper (mac & cheese) and take a short walk that evening. Marlin stayed until about 9 pm at the hospital, but slept at a hotel.
Dr. M. made rounds about 6:30 am today, examined me and gave me instructions to go home. I was able to leave the hospital by 1 pm and we got home about 6 pm Thursday. Amazing! Remember when mastectomy patients stayed at the hospital 10-14 days? Wow! I am home with two drains coming from the surgery site, but I don't really have alot of pain.
I received a lovely basket of fall flowers from friends at Washburn before I left the hospital. Thanks to Patty and Brenda for supplying a wonderful soup and pie supper for Marlin and me. I have received several cards and calls already. I appreciate the prayers and will ask for continuing prayers over the next few months, as I face another round of treatments. Dr. M. will call next week to let me know the tumor board's recommendation for the next step.
Blessings to you all -
Love,
Ellen

No More Waiting!

The surgeon's office called this afternoon. They had a cancellation and offered me the open spot - I took it - for Sept. 23 at 9:30 am. The surgery will be at Barne-Jewish West, which is on the west side of St. Louis, not downtown, as the main hospital. Marlin and I will travel Tuesday afternoon and stay at a hotel. Most likely the hospital stay will be overnight, then home on Thursday. I probably won't blog until I return home.
Keep me in your prayers and especially on Wednesday morning.
God bless my friends and family -
Love to you -
Ellen

Today's Blessings

Dr. M. called me Thursday evening to share with me the tumor board's recommendations. They are recommending more surgery, chemo and probably radiation. Everything, all over again. The decision was left to me about what type of surgery to have. There is no clear cut evidence of which will improve the outcome - whether to have just the lymph node removal, or a mastectomy. Marlin and I talked and I talked with the oncologist at Pittsburg and I've decided to have the mastectomy - in the hopes it will be more curative and I won't need additional surgery. I will travel to Barnes-Jewish in St. Louis to have the surgery. I am waiting for the surgeon's office to call with the details. I am planning to work this week in Topeka.
This morning, I served communion to shut-ins of our church, then attended worship. It is what I needed. My church family lifts me up in so many ways. I cannot imagine people going through challenges like I've faced and not have the prayers and kindnesses of church family.
I am truly blessed. One of the hymns today in worship was "Make Me a Blessing" - an old hymn that I learned as a child. It's message is simple and profound. "Make me a blessing, make me a blessing, out of my life - let Jesus shine. Make me a blessing, dear lord, I pray, make me a blessing to someone today."
Blessings to you -
Love to you -
Ellen

At the throne of grace

Marlin and I traveled to St. Louis on Tuesday to see my surgeon, Dr. M. I saw her in the afternoon, then had a supreme treat of having an extra view, extra pressure mammogram along with a sonogram of my right axilla (armpit). The sonogram was to see if the questionable lymph nodes could be viewed in the hopes of accessing them for a biopsy. The super-duper mammogram was to make sure that the cancer was not a "new" cancer in my other breast. Wednesday morning I had an MRI of my right breast - again to insure that the cancer wasn't in my breast. I need to explain how adventuresome this particular MRI was. The person having a breast MRI must lie on their abdomen on the table and insert their breasts through holes in the table, with arms stretched overhead and legs straight behind. Ok, can you picture the position?? Yes, superman in flight! So it was, indeed, an adventure - lasting about 40 minutes.
The lymph node biopsy was rather uneventful, except for the fact that there were 5 people (including me) in a room about the size of a decent closet, along with the sonogram machine; one physician, a medical student, a clinical fellow (who was a female medical resident) and the nurse. The fellow, who was female, actually did the needle poking - three times into my axilla. She did give me a little lidocaine numbing medicine prior to the procedure, so I got 4 needle sticks in the armpit. I have a little bruise, but otherwise, no problems.
Dr. M. called this morning with the results and as expected, the cell type is the same as my original cancer, so most likely it is metastasis. The MRI and mammogram were both okay.
The tumor board meets next Thursday evening to review my case and recommend a plan of action. Dr. M. will call me on Friday with the update.
I have been blessed with cards, phone calls, visits, emails, and friends telling me about the addition of my name to prayer chains, circles, and lists. I am at the throne of grace, seeking His guidance and healing touch.
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16
Love to you -
Ellen

Extraction of Sweet Tooth

My surgeon called today from St. Louis. She reviewed the PET scan with a radiologist and compared the scan to ones I'd had in St. Louis last year. This radiologist detected more spots on the latest scan than the radiologist in Pittsburg. I have an appointment with the surgeon on Tuesday, Sept. 8 in the afternoon and she plans to do a biopsy on Wednesday morning. Results from pathology will determine the next step.
I am feeling physically very well. My vegetarian diet has not been hard to maintain - although omitting sugar has been the biggest struggle. Common knowledge is that cancer loves sugar and most are encouraged to cut way back on sweets, refined sugar and flour. (Although I did not hear this from any of my physicians!) My "sweet tooth" is genetic, I'm sure, as my dad and my paternal grandmother loved sweets, too. Two of my sisters have the same affliction. To curb the craving, I have sips of grape juice - high in anti-oxidants. Emotionally, I think I'm in disbelief. I was hopeful that I'd gotten through the worst, and I may have. I do think I'll be receiving more treatment of some kind. Just have to wait - and waiting is the hardest thing to do. I lean on Jesus and pray for healing.
For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand: it is I who say to you "Fear not, I will help you." Isaiah 41:13
Blessings to you,
Love,
Ellen